Thursday, February 3, 2011

Winter got you down?

Well it's tax return time for you, if your part of the working class, No? well your parents probably are if not only to support your expensive snowboard lifestyle. You know what that means don't you? It's time to lock your parents in to pay for your snowboard summer camp at High Cascade this year. They've got a pocket full of cash and if you don't intercept them on their way to Foxwoods, they might just blow it all on roulette and spa treatments, and we wouldn't want that.

Heres a 5 step process to lock in your spot at one of the 6 HCSC sessions...

STEP 1 - Pick up a shovel. Yeah it's cozy in your house playing Call of Duty while your parents are outside for hours digging themselves out and pushing snow off the roof so your house doesn't collapse, but when you need something, your parents want to see your involvement around the house. Shovel until you can't feel your back. If you shovel your driveway, get up on the roof, push that snow off, and when your done with that your grandmother probably needs her driveway shoveled too. At this point your parents will start to realize you are up to something, but will appreciate the help.

STEP 2 - Save your money. Depending on your age, your parents may or may not be trying to ween you off their list of expenses. But mom!, I NEED a $300 pair of jeans with a sequin leopard on them! No, you don't. You never will, but you will need $300 for a plane ticket to Portland, OR so that Mike Ravelson and Tanner McCarty can pick you up and bring you to the finest summer snowboard establishment on earth, to ride with the biggest names in snowboarding for one mind blowing week. What you want to do with either your own or your parents money is SAVE it. This is a key step.
If YOU save a little bit of money, even just to cover your plane ticket thats even less you need to ask your parents for. Then you have the "I can help pay for it" option. Allowances are not just for taking girls out to eat and the movies on friday nights, and those girls don't compare to the ones you'll meet snowboarding in the summer at High Cascade anyways. (and they will be wearing bikinis becasue it will be summer, not sweatpants, and sweatshirt and UGGs ((GROSS)) )
Plus if you don't have a job it's even easier, all you have to do is stop asking for tons of dumb shit from your parents. Instead of asking your parents for a new jacket and goggles, make due with what you have, thats an easy $250 right there that they didn't spend on you. You want to make sure you point out that you want the stuff though and then when it comes time to get it just use the phrase, I'll just make due for another year. Do that a couple of times with stuff you don't really need and your all good. When the time comes to drop the bomb about wanting to go you can just point out all the money you saved them by making due.

STEP 3 - Do good in school. This applies K-Seniors in college. The better you are doing in school the better your chances are for getting something cool in reward from your parents. Your in the home stretch already, maybe taking a day off from riding Wachusett every night to study could land you at High Cascade this summer. Everyone knows that High Cascade on a rainy day is better than Wachusett on a pow day so get to it. Study, take notes, show up to class on time and pull the trigger on good grades. Your friends might call you a geek, but you'll have good grades, you'll be shredding with Scott Stevens this summer, and on top of that you can come home and tell all your friends all the tricks he taught you, and how much better you are than them. WIN.

STEP 4 - Use your parents pride. This is one of two last resorts. Your parents want to be proud of you. They want to go to the dinner on Saturday mornings and rave about how good of a kid you are and try to make all the other parents feel like their kid is beneath you, because of your an A student, and well mannered, and captain of the cheerleading squad (no, just me? ok...) Anyways start bringing up the friend your parents hate, or maybe your friend that always does better than you. You want to say how they went to some snowboarding camp in South America, and they're better than you because of it. This will instantly trigger your parents mind, resulting in countless hours of them scouring the internet for the best snowboard camp on earth, and when the High Cascade link appears, your in. Mom and Dad want you to go to High Cascade because it IS the best, and your friend Tom who went to South America won't be able to keep up with you because Pat Moore and Bryan Fox taught you how to do switch back fives, and Tommy can't even ride switch.

STEP 5 - Nothing has worked for you, your ready to give up, theres no way you'll ever be able to get the money. Get a job you bum. Jobs are a little harder to find these days thats why you need to stoop to and all time low. DO ANYTHING. Look in the paper for shitty part time jobs cleaning truck stop bathrooms and apply. Your bathroom cleaning job for 4 months will suck more than the two guys who was in their last, but once your riding in a t-shirt, the pain of scrapping human shit off the walls will leave your mind forever and be replaced by the countless memories of meeting new friends and summer shredding. Four months of shitty (no pun intended) labor and you can quit and live the good life for a week in Oregon. On top of actually having the money to go now, your parents will see that you have worked for your goals and gained responsibility possibly resulting in them helping foot the bill. Hard work pays off.

Now that you have a plan. Stick to it, and don't let your parents know about the plan or its ruined. On top of all when it works and you get out there, say Thank You. Theres nothing your parents or anyone for that fact appreciate more than a simple Thank You. If you fall short and can't make the trip just stick to the plan for another year. Save your money, you have even more time than before. Just keep watching the weekly updates all summer and get amped to be there next year. Plus over the next 4 months if you do stick to the plan you will become a better person and a contributing member of society, and theres nothing wrong with that. You may be rewarded in the end with a online contest to win a trip to HCSC or hit big on a scratch card.

Now watch these videos, get psyched, and go make something sick out of all the snow we just got, becasue soon enough it will be summer and you'll be talking about the "i shoudas". -AUGER

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